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What Are You Tolerating?
To be tolerant is a great thing. When one is tolerant, people are free to be themselves, have their opinions and travel the journey of life according to their own terms.
Tolerations, on the other hand, are not about acceptance. Tolerations are energy drains. Tolerations hold you back. Tolerations are often compromises you've talked yourself into.
In many ways, tolerations are about desensitizing yourself. Think about it this way: it is the first beautiful day of spring and all the windows are open for the first time after a very long winter, and you've decided you are going to play your favorite CD. Great weather. Great music.
Just as the notes of the music start to drift towards you, the sound of car horns honking travel through your open windows, then a jackhammer starts pounding away at a nearby construction site, a flock of geese loudly squawk as they travel by your window and then an ambulance screeches by. You will have to concentrate really hard to hear your favorite music because there is so much noise pulling at you and your attention. Some of your energy is going to be focused on tuning out all the excess noise, so you can hear your favorite music.
Tolerations function in much the same way. They pull your focus and attention away from what you really want to focus on in your life. Rather than putting up with what annoys you, you could use the energy to create what you want in your life.
- Take a moment and write out 50 things you are tolerating.
If you think it will be tough to find 50 things, guess again. Somewhere around the 20th item you may find it is like a damn breaking and there will be a flood of items to put on your list. We've been conditioned to be polite and in the process we've learned how to put up with a lot of things, people and situations we don't want in our lives. I'm not suggesting you become a demanding dictator. I am suggesting that you clear space in your life for what you really want by releasing the people, situations, places or things that are draining you.
For now, keep the list at 50. You can always come back and make another list. Some areas you might want to look at for your list are: Life, Job, Business, Equipment, Car, Home, Office, Family or Community.
Is there a light bulb at home you know you need to change? And every time your turn on a lamp or flip a switch do you think: "Gee, I need to change that light bulb." That's a toleration, put it on the list. Need more training to feel comfortable at work? That's a toleration, put it on the list. Some tolerations will can be handled swiftly and some will take more work, and even if they are only a tiny drain on your energy, put them on your list.
- Now, make a commitment to start crossing items off your list. Over the next 90 days get the tolerations on your list handled.
- And, as you work through your toleration list, consider this: focus on the source. Get to the reason you've tolerated these things in the first place. For example, is the fact you are sleeping on sheets you've had for years a symptom of not having enough money? Or perhaps it is a symptom that self-care is not priority for you? Once you have your list of 50, see if there are any recurring themes on the list.
Once you've worked through your toleration list, you'll find that you have more energy to focus on the things that are important to you. You'll find that you are less distracted or weighed down or pulled in two directions at the same time.
And, if you'd like to work with a coach as you work through the items on your list, contact: lea@creatingstrategies.com.
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